What leads you to be depressed doesn't carry over to when you're suicidal and planning to blow your brains out.
Do realize that blowing your brains out is no small task, you can't just rationalize it, the majority of the population IS depressed and they aren't out committing suicides.
To suicide you literally need to reach the realm of psychopathy.
And once you're at that level you lose any form of shame or embarrassment, to think that a man who is literally gonna commit to something as crazy as suicide and STILL be afraid of his looks makes no sense.
Its pretty obvious there is more missing here, I don't think "he thought he was ugly and mami cut muh penis" would be enough to push anyone to the extreme like this.