Sorry for the downtime, no data was lost.
[45 / 4]

Late transition regrets

No.9668051 ViewReplyOriginalReport
I think I've waited way too much to start my transition. Starting so late (at 22) basically destroyed any chances I had at passing. And don't even start with "oh, but most trannies begin even later" or "oh, but I've seen someone who started late and passes!" because none of this is a valid argument. Indeed, even later transitioners are a thing - but that doesn't console me at all, because I want to be passable myself, not feel better about myself because someone has it worse. And just because someone else passes doesn't mean I will - the situation can be entirely different.

Mind you, my situation is not even the worst - perhaps I can even pass using 10 layers of makeup (should I ever learn it), but that (perhaps counterintuitively) makes me feel worse. It makes me realize that I wasted the potential I had. I just let it go into waste, all by myself, and the fault entirely lies with me. And since I wasted my potential, I'll just never pass. And the more time passes, the more obvious it is, and the more guilt/regrets I feel because of it. I just get more depressed and I become less and less functioning every day. All the cope methods I had simply don't work anymore.

Now the only thing I can do is just to try to pretend to be a femboy. Thankfully, my only redeeming quality is that I look young, so that should help (despite my age), but I have no ideas how to dress/style my hair/etc, so this is gonna be a problem.